Review: BLISS Great Expectations Pregnancy Massage by Ellie O’Mahoney

BLISS PIC Another pregnancy treatment reviewed by our wonderful editor at large, Ellie O’Mahoney. Sounds like I need to get pregnant again…. GT

Bliss Spa, Sloane Avenue
Great Expectations, 75 minutes, £120

I don’t want anyone to touch me. I’m 9 months pregnant and feel like I have a puppy attached to my abdomen. A cute-as, much wanted puppy but a wriggly little thing none the less. So before the 75-minute massage starts at Bliss I warn my therapist that I’m feeling heavier than a sausage roll and probably won’t be able to relax. No worries, she smiled, I’ll do my best.

Ah the wise woman. She had faith in her skills even if I didn’t.

Great Expectations is a straight forward massage for expectant women. It, thankfully, involves the requisite number of pillows (TONS) needed to make any heavily pregnant woman comfy. One to hug, one between the knees, one under the head and one under the bump. Bliss. You turn on your side while the therapist goes at your back, shoulders, arms, hands, bottom, legs and feet.

So much for not relaxing. I was putty. So much so that I caught myself drifting off to sleep twice. This may have something to do with the fact that I’m exhausted through lack of sleep at the moment but I also credit my therapist’s hands with some kind of magic.

She was ultra responsive to any jumps on my part. When I flinched as she touched my feet (I’m always ticklish there) she used her arm instead to massage them. Something no other therapist has tried – and it turns out a much softer approach for the sensitive skinned. I actually enjoyed a foot massage for the first time. See, miraculous.

The music is worth mentioning too. Massage music is just that – music you’ll never hear outside that dark little room. Whale sounds if you will. Bliss, though, play proper music during treatments. Proper music that relaxes you but proper music, with lyrics and tunes that make you feel like you’re at home. Or at least at home with a kickass masseuse.

I thought I was too pregnant to benefit from a massage – and I did ask her not to touch my bump, it’s wriggly enough as it is without any extra stimulation but 10 days from due date, the 75 minutes did me such good. If only it were available on the NHS.


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